Slices of Life

  I originally wrote this post in November of 2014 (when Ian was 10), it's more of a parenting post than a homeschooling post.  Thankfully he ended up LOVING his season of basketball!   I admit it, I don't like to be that mom that forces my kids to do much of anything. I never used to be that way:  I was perfectly happy making us all miserable because I believed there wasn't another way. I believed that to raise caring, thoughtful, productive children I had to force them to do everything that I thought was best for them. I believed that, as the parent, I was the boss; always.  I truly thought that having complete authority was the only way to teach my kids how to behave.  Perhaps if I had to go back and do it all over again I would.  They were younger then and my way of dealing with things now might not have worked when they were younger.  I don't know.  I just know that I'm not like that anymore (or not ALWAYS ...

Self care is something I struggled with so much when my kids were young.  I found it so hard to set aside my kids' needs for my own but knew I needed to now and then for my sanity. Each stage of parenting required me to think of new ways to carve out just a bit of time for myself. When I had an infant around I often brought them right into the bathroom with me so I could shower and pamper myself for as long as I could keep them content. As they became toddlers I often waited until my husband got home and once or twice a month would sneak off for a nice long bubble bath in the whirlpool tub knowing they were in good hands. I would read, enjoy a nice cup of hot cocoa or iced tea and just try to forget all that I felt I had to do. Best of all the sound of the jets drowned out all the other sounds in the house! As they reached preschool age I could leave them with a sitter or family member for the day and take off for some retail therapy.  One morning a week I sig...

It's the 10th of the month and time for another 10 on the 10th.  This month we're talking about all the things we say over and over all day long.  As a mom there are a million things I feel like I say all the time.  Sometimes I think a tape recorder of my voice would be all my kids would need to keep going. 1.   Get out of the pantry (or maybe get away from the food) 2.  We just ate _____ (fill in the blank with the last meal or snack we just finished eating as they insist they're starving) 3.  Who's ______ is this?   (Fill in the blank with whatever object I just found lying around the house) 4.  Leave your brother alone 5.  Did you finish all of your schoolwork? 6.  The dishwasher is clean (or I might say the dishes are dirty; if they're putting dirty dishes in the sink) 7.  Who's turn is it to  _____ (fill in blank with the name of whatever chore I'm trying to get done at the moment)-- 8.   Keep your hands to you...

It's funny but before I became a parent I thought I had all the answers.  I worked for a few years in day care working with all ages of children, in preschool for a couple of years, and even in grades 1-4 so I had a pretty good idea how kids worked, what it was like to be an authority figure, and a few little tricks for getting kids to do what I wanted... Then I became a parent and realized I was in a whole new ball game!  Parenthood was so much tougher than I thought it would be.  I often feel like I'm in over my head and that I am just winging it day by day.  It has pushed me to be a better version of myself and taught me so much. It can be such a hard job at times but one that I absolutely love! I've learned that, as a parent... 1.  You can never have enough patience -- I can not believe the stores of patience I have learned to call upon as a mother and yet I still feel like I never have enough.  No one knows how to test your patients qui...

Usually I think I am a pretty good mom but there are times when I start to feel like maybe I am not giving it my all.  There are times when I don't feel like taking photographs or playing with my boys; is that just awful to admit?  I mean I LOVE my boys but playing with them every single time they ask me means I have to set aside what I want to do. That can be so hard to do!  As a family we can fall into a funk or a rut where we're just doing the same things everyday and I don't feel like we're connecting or having much fun. If I'm brutally honest, I know it's often the thought of not having anything to share on my blog that pushes me to do more, try more, and be in the moment more.  I know it's what helps me keep my camera at hand to document so much of our lives. I have often thought about giving up my blog but I do feel that would allow me to slack off so much more... and I'd hate it! I think blogging helps me be a better mom and a bett...

I started thinking the other day about what we value.  Both what our family values and the values I am trying to instill in my boys. I really started wondering about whether or not I am showing them that I support what they value. Oftentimes as adults we can easily overlook what kids want to do or the activities that kids use to fill up their time and I am always afraid that my boys might start thinking that I don't value what they are interested in or doing. After all, who am I to decide what has value? Sure I am interested and try to listen with intent, give them my attention, and nod along when they are excited to tell me about what they are working on. However, I do ask them to put away what they are working on whenever it suits me and our family schedule.  Because, well, I'm the mom and sometimes I have to veto what they want to do for the greater good. I just hope they understand that I am doing it for their own good. I couldn't even count the number of times I tell t...

There are many things in life that have scared me...  I have lived most of my life feeling pretty spineless but nothing terrifies me more than motherhood and, some days, homeschooling. Perhaps thinking of myself as a coward isn't quite accurate since I have always heard that bravery is not the absence of fear but going on in spite of the fear.  There are so many things about being a parent and homeschooling that have often terrified me.. but of course I keep at it anyway. I give my all to these boys and try my best to make the right decisions and guide them into adulthood the "right" way... which of course seems to be totally different for each of them. I am always learning and adjusting as they grow... I sit in awe of them and just how quickly it all goes by. This weekend I was so scared watching Alec use an electric saw. In truth I have been pretty terrified each time any of my boys have learned to use new tools, equipment, and machinery.  I want them to learn these ski...

I have three boys and their personalities are so very different.  From day one each asserted himself in a unique way and I have always tried to treat them as individuals.  That said, it's not always easy to stop comparing them. Lately I have been realizing that I am trying to force my youngest son to be a bit more like his brothers.  He is reluctant to grow up.  Holding onto childhood likes and interests, resisting learning any new self- help skills, etc. and I have been struggling to accept that. My oldest two boys were always pushing the envelope to try new things.  They were in a hurry to grow up! Often they asked to take on new skills before I thought they were ready. My oldest was driving heavy equipment around by the time he was 8! My middle son potty trained himself in just a few days at the age of 3 because he so badly wanted to go to preschool with his older brother.  He never had one single accident!  (We let him start school the month he tur...

My husband had the perfect idea for a Mother's Day gift. He offered to send me, my mom and my mother in law to a paint night at a local art studio.  I invited my sister along and just could not wait for our paint night! I LOVE painting. I started taking art lessons with my grandmother and my older sister when I was in grade school.  My sister's schedule didn't allow her to continue on with lessons as long as mine did and I have extremely fond memories of being picked up at school once a week by my grandmother and going to our class. I was still going to classes well into high school. I love the smell of turpentine, the feel of the paint flowing from my brush onto the canvas, turning a white blank canvas into a beautiful picture. I have framed art work all over our house; most of which I made myself. I took many an art class in college and minored in fine arts. I wanted to be an art teacher. And yet, with three boys, a large house, homeschooling, crafting, scrapbooking, laun...

I want my kids to be good, hard workers.  I want them to know that difficult jobs can be done and done well with the right attitude, hard work, and determination. I think the ability to work hard and the satisfaction one gets from knowing a job has been well done are valuable life skills that will take them far.   I don't think those sort of skills just crop up overnight though.  They need to be modeled, nurtured, and worked at in order for kids to understand the value of a good work ethic. Here are some of the ways we try to make sure our boys learn the value of hard work: Model the behavior--  I can't expect my kids to work hard if they never see me working hard.  They know I am spending hours working on my blog, reading about blogging, and that (while fun!) I do consider it part of my work.  They see me cleaning, cooking, organizing, painting, fixing, and doing other jobs around the house.  We often work alongside each other on the weeke...

Ah! A life with boys.  I know nothing else.   I often joke that I'm so outnumbered; even our cat is male.  I never thought I'd enjoy having a house full of boys as much as I do. It's certainly not what I pictured when I was in my 20's looking toward the future. I always thought I'd have kids but mostly I pictured little girls in frilly dresses with shiny Mary Jane shoes and pig tails.   I yearned for a little girl of my own; someone I could play Barbies with and remember what it was like to be a little girl.  But it was not to be. Somehow I ended up with all boys and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world! Yes, life with boys is messy!  Seriously, boys are like dirt magnets.  It just clings to them and they can be covered from head to toe and not know it or just not care.  They love to be grossed out and think it's cool.  Whenever I hear "Ew, that's gross!" I know someone is going to get even closer to check it out ...