I'm terrified... but I do it anyway!

There are many things in life that have scared me...  I have lived most of my life feeling pretty spineless but nothing terrifies me more than motherhood and, some days, homeschooling.

Perhaps thinking of myself as a coward isn't quite accurate since I have always heard that bravery is not the absence of fear but going on in spite of the fear.  There are so many things about being a parent and homeschooling that have often terrified me.. but of course I keep at it anyway.

I give my all to these boys and try my best to make the right decisions and guide them into adulthood the "right" way... which of course seems to be totally different for each of them.

I am always learning and adjusting as they grow...

I sit in awe of them and just how quickly it all goes by.

This weekend I was so scared watching Alec use an electric saw.

In truth I have been pretty terrified each time any of my boys have learned to use new tools, equipment, and machinery.  I want them to learn these skills and I am so proud when they have the confidence to ask to be taught a new skill and try it out... but it still terrifies me!

There comes a time when a mistake or an accident no longer means some peroxide, a band- aid, and a kiss.  That's scary.

And yet, as I stood there watching Alec I could not deny that he felt so empowered to be given this new responsibility.  He took his job seriously and worked hard to keep himself safe and do a good job.  After watching him saw 10 or so scraps of wood up I asked if he was OK with my heading to the other end of the room to help his father and he replied "I was always fine with that mom; I ASKED to do this.  You're the one who's nervous."

Oh if only they knew... they have no idea just how scary it is to be a parent.

I am always worried about them and how they might get hurt whether it's emotionally or physically.

I hurt when they hurt and while I always want to be able to make it better that is just not always possible.

I am always worried that I am not preparing them enough for life and adulthood...

I worry that they are not learning all that they need to succeed and that I might be holding them back.

I worry about them all the time.

But I wouldn't trade my job for anything else in the world.


  1. So glad to hear you admit that you worry about your kids. My nemesis is the chain saw. But . . . it's great for my prayer life! Whenever I hear loud noises of equipment being operated, I pray for my kids!

    1. OH goodness; I can't even think about when they're old enough to use chain saws! I'm nervous enough when my husband uses one.

  2. Parenting is definitely hard work and the worry seems never ending doesn't it? It so hard finding that balance between keeping them safe and giving them confidence in themselves x

  3. Me too - especially now my 11 year old is at high school - it means so much more idependence like walking home and going out with friends without me. Sarah #fabfridaypost

    1. Yeah we're hitting those high school years too! I want them to be independent so much but I worry like crazy when they are away.


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